Pat Clements

For years, Donna has harassed me about my snoring.  When camping with friends, I always got comments from people in the tents, half joking.  Finally, my boss started complaining about me yawning in meetings.  I went and saw my GP, he ran blood work (which showed my diet is having no effect on my iron, etc.) and referred me to a pulmonologist for a sleep evaluation. 

So, on Jan 25, I went in for my sleep study at Centennial Medical Center, which is sort of like a hotel room, sort of like a hospital room.  What a great experience.  Lynne made me feel right comfortable, while she glued at least a dozen sensors to my scalp (measures brain activity), face (facial muscle activity for REM, teeth grinding, etc.), legs (do you kick your legs?), chest (heartbeat).  The worst is this stupid thing that goes under your nose to measure oxygen on the exhale, and finally the oxygen monitor on my finger.  Oh yeah, a strap goes around your stomach and your chest to see your breathing.  The room is covered in microphones, a IR camera with a IR LED illuminator.  They let me take a Advil PM, which by the way, is great for camping.  Woke up a few times during the night, no more than usual, but woke up a little more just because you realize all this crap is glued to you.

On Saturday morning, Lynne woke me up with a cup of coffee.  She couldn’t tell me anything officially.  But she did let it slip that I’d probably be back, implying that I had a problem.  Turns out, the pulmonologist reviewed my results, and I had 107 episodes, averaging over 15 interruptions an hour due to sleep apnea.  Um, that’s an average of every 4 minutes, which means I never get really good REM sleep (the most restful sleep.)  One time, I didn’t breathe for 29 seconds.  Yikes!

Turns out sleep apnea is the result of the muscles that keep your tongue and throat parts in place relax in your sleep, and shut off the airway.  Though Donna never complained of me gasping, I must have been subtlely.  The treatment is a CPAP machine. 

One more sleep study – called titration I think on 2/4.  They hook up all that crap again, and hook you to a CPAP.  Sharon, this time, woke me up the next morning.  I asked how it went, and she replied "you’re cured."  Man, what a difference that next day.   My attention was more acute and I didn’t yawn once all day.  I never realized what a zombie I have been.  I felt like I had a buzz.

That same day, the sleep lab called in my order for a machine.  I had it home by Wednesday night.  I’ve had it two nights as of today.  I really have to get used to the mask, but I’m absolutely convinced it’s worth it.  Work, sports, reading books – all my favorite stuff should be that much more enjoyable with proper rest.